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Lass_Episodic
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Name: Jennifer
Country: United States
State: Illinois
Metro: Chicago
Birthday: 10/27/1905
Gender: Female
Interests: People,cozy coffee shops, dance, jazz, hip-hop, ballet, riverdance, breakdance, BreakDown, poetry, music, art, the human psyche... seeing the way I'll change, what I'll become, who I'll be.....being who God wants me to be. Theatre, Bohemians. Thespians, Playwriting, pencil portraits, photography, clay people...you. Aaaand, one day I hope to breakdance with a book on my head.
Expertise: I write, dance and sing in the shower.
Occupation: Other
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
2/9/2006
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| I
never knew I could carry such passion for one I barely knew, didn't
care to speak kind words to you. The words I keep repeating now, I am
sorry, reason being, I am sorry. And it's a little too late. I AM
SORRY. I never had death so close it made me think about life. How we
live and love and care for others, I realize I failed you. Makes me
think twice about taunting, laughing, poking, I am sorry. Talking,
disrespecting, hating, I am sorry. My intention was never to harm,
never thought about my words, or anyone elses. Wish I could have said sorry, realized the pain you carried all your life and how we possibly made it worse. If
I could turn back time I would hug you and let you know you were
beautiful. God said you were beautiful and no one, I mean no one,
should have ever made you feel anything less. The most pain I carry is from
what I could have done, could have said, should have done instead. It's
the pain in your eyes that haunt me. Usually intentional about showing
love to others and shouldn't have let myself be influenced by the
common influence. We are none of us better than anyone. And now I have
so many emotions surging through me, welling up an abuundance of tears,
in me. I feel so much for you though when you were here, I didn't care
to even speak to you, I am sorry. Hoping
you feel beautiful now, hoping you feel loved, hoping you are finally
safe in His arms. Sweet child of God, truly rest in peace. | | |
| Imagine,
dancing on a yellow cloud, over rainbow of yellow symphony. Vibrant,
breathtaking. Rainbow for God's promise to me that the indigo rain has
moved on, over
now. Cool breeze blowing over and around me, lifts me higher into the
sky. With my eyes wide I turn to face giant yellow-gold ball of light
and gently close them. The yellow-gold shines through, sunlight in my
eyes. When the wind returns me to earth, it lands me in a meadow full
of yellow flowers. And a yellow-gold piano sits on a bed of petunias,
beckoning, playing softly, magically, mesmerizing, calling. My
contemporary dance on wild flowers. Grand finale of shooting stars. | | |
| I thought I was
until I saw that I wasn't, saw that my mental was imprisoned, my
conviction wasn't lined up with His mission, couldn't shake the chains
from my life none, couldn't push it from my mind none, was like clingy,
spandex sin, my dermis couldn't escape from. Came into this realm blindly never expecting to fly solo, captured by my mental, distress brought me down so low. Ignorant to possibilities of escape but I see my freedom in the air, forgetting that I've always had it there...
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom...
Tell me, are you free?
Are you free?
It could be time for us to break free...
...and
what does it look like, feel like? It looks like not being able to
sleep at night and instead of entertaining destructive thoughts,
channeling those feelings through a creative form of expressing and
placing them at His feet.
He makes all things new... not all at
once, of course. I used to stare out of my window wishing I could fall
from it. No longer do I stare, brokenhearted, that chapter is over.
It's a testimony for me to say, that chapter has ended. I never thought
I could be free, I could never imagine me... until recently.
"When the world has fallen out from under me, I'll be found in you, still standing.
Every fear and accusation under my feet when time and space are through, I'll be found in You. You make all things new..." -Shadow Feet, Brooke Fraser
And may I add, I'll be found in you, Jesus." Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Holla.
<3 Fer | | |
| I had to learn to fall in love with
skin
body
weight
Had to learn the art of acceptance.
Could brown ever be in?
Could skinny ever stop being in?
Could I humanly be loved for me?
Had to learn to love
Erased traces of hate, self-hatred, desired to enable others to re-evaluate
society's
standard of beauty and appreciate women of all colors and sizes. Beauty
is not the stick figure embraced by MTV and magazines nor is it solely
5'7" blonde, blue eyes, ladies, it is a variety of color, a variety of
souls. And yes ladies, healthy is beautiful.
Scars would not fade
Memories would not cease
but eventually, I learned to care for me.
Learned to make the canvas bleed!
Preserved skin
so now I paint
dance
create
wherever I find strength and courage
and can make the artistic medium bleed...
to keep my life alive, thriving even,
is where I need to be.
Where I can make the canvas bleed... instead of me.
-Jennifer Lawrence | | |
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